That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
one two three fourrrrnication!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
