Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
