thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
