very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
