Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
