I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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