Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
