My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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