I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
