im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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