3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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