is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize