can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
