Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
