Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
