Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
