I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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