Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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