was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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