ugly people sure do ruin things
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
