The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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