Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
YAS. BRING CRAB.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
