Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
