Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
