his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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