I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
