i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
