dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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