? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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