before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just forgot I was standing up.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
