her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
