Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
