That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
