so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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