What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
