Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
