if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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