direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
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