I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
