Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
