Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
