Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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