its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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