No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
