just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We left the knife in your bed.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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