I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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