Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
