Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I will pee on everything he values.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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