He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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