She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
