I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
