My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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