I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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