dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
